Zen at MIA

Posted on October 7, 2010 by Coco

Yesterday I traveled from Miami to Chicago, arriving at MIA at 2:30 pm, landing at ORD at 8:00 pm and getting to my hotel @ 9:30 pm. Yet, I was oddly relaxed and calm throughout the trek.

I got to MIA ridiculously early because my meeting had ended, and I had nothing else to do–or that I could do and still make it to the airport with time to return my rental car. I knew there was an earlier flight but also knew it was sold out. I thought I might find a Starbucks and do some work.

First, I had to get a boarding pass. I didn’t see any self-check-in kiosks, so I had to ask where to get a Boarding Pass! I was directed to a check-in line, but there was no wait, so that process was smooth.

Next was the security screening. I changed my shoes before getting in line since I can’t get my flip flops off quickly. Again, I had to ask which line to get in, and was directed to the priority line (undeserved!) but it wasn’t really any shorter than the other. That went fine too–no extra screening for my bandaged toe this time.

I was near the gate for the earlier flight, so I decided to see if there was an open seat, knowing that the chance was slim to none. I heard people say there was a plane change, so I thought it might be possible that it was a bigger plane, but no such luck. While waiting to ask, I noticed that I was calm, unrushed, and fully expecting to be turned down.

With 2.5 hours to kill, I looked for the Starbucks. I walked and walked and walked, but didn’t see one. I did see a jewelry store with lots of silver jewelry, so I thought I’d see if they had any silver hoops since I’ve lost my favorite ones. It took me a while to pick out earrings, but I ended up with two pairs.

I asked the sales clerk where the Starbucks was, and she told me the gate, which was all the way past where I started and then some. I took the Sky Train in the right direction to have a bit of mercy on my toe. I still had to walk further to get there, but I finally found it.

Of course, there was a long line, but I didn’t mind. I got a tall skinny one pump pumpkin spice latte and chocolate muffin. I was mildly annoyed because two women were occupying the space at the only three small tables, but I sat at the middle table that was technically open. I knew right away that I could not work there–no outlet, not sure about wireless, didn’t want to hog a table for too long–so I enjoyed my snack and caught up on emails, Facebook and Twitter.

I decided to buy water and a sandwich before heading to my gate, again waiting calmly in a long line. I walked back to my gate, and found a place to recharge my phone so I could read on the plane. I wanted to ask the gate agent if I could board early, but I waited as long as possible to get my phone charged up. Again, waiting longer to do something than I would have otherwise.

Getting on the plane early means waiting even longer before take-off. My seat was almost all the way in the back and by a window, so I felt really “tucked in” but not trapped.

Usually even a short flight has me checking the time, but there was a good movie (Just Wright) and I also enjoyed reading my book.

We landed a bit early, but had to wait for a gate. Usually this would annoy me, but I didn’t care. I also am usually anxious to get off the plane quickly, but I knew that with my seat I’d be one if the last to get off, so I just sat tight, again checking on the latest emails, Facebook and Twitter.

I finally made it off the plane and trekked the long walk to the rental car bus stop. I got my rental car without too much effort, although I had to wait in another line because I was 3 hours later than my reservation time. I was getting grumpy–but not enough to try to cut the line (which wasn’t TOO long). It’s not like I PAID for priority service, I just signed up and have to make 5 rentals per year to keep it.

I made it to the hotel and again had to wait to check in, and again was calm, but getting very tired. At least the end was in sight!

It was odd being so relaxed while traveling, I usually feel rushed or stressed. It was nice to be calm about everything even when things didn’t totally go my way.

I hope I can hold on to some of that zen for my trip home tonight.

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Outliving Love

Posted on October 4, 2010 by Coco

When I told my priest about Sally, he offered sincere condolences. He said that he thinks that one reason he doesn’t have a dog now is because he still hasn’t gotten over the dogs he’s outlived. That’s hard, but understandable.

People hurt by love gone wrong or love lost shut themselves off from other relationships, in an attempt to protect themselves from more emotional pain. Some stay isolated–or at least single–longer than others, but usually someone breaks through and makes them love again. (At least that’s how it plays out in the movies.)

With a pet, though, the decision to love again is usually more deliberate. You come to a point when you decide that you are ready again. Part of being ready is feeling that you have the time and energy to care for a pet again. But a bigger part–especially after you’ve tended to an ailing pet–is being willing to give yourself over to that unconditional puppy love knowing that you will, in all likelihood, outlive that love again.

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Resurrection with No After-Life?

Posted on October 3, 2010 by Coco

Today I finished reading Let’s Take The Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell. I heard about the book when it first came out, but wasn’t very interested until I heard an interview with the author on The Diane Rehm Show. I bought it when Sally was in her last days, thinking that the bittersweet melancholy of its topic would soothe me in the days ahead. Not because I was equating Sally’s approaching death with the loss of a friend, but because I knew the friendship at the center of the book involved a shared love of dogs.

I enjoyed the book, although I feel like I am missing something. Maybe because it is at its heart a very personal story, and I am an outsider. Or maybe because I don’t have a friendship as strong as Gail and Caroline’s (seriously, who does?). Or maybe because I read too quickly or when I was too tired some evenings. Still, the book is very good, and probably worth re-reading for its wonderful observations on friendship, love, loss, and grief.

One thing that struck me today was the author’s discussion of her faith (or lack thereof) when she was struggling with Caroline’s impending death and how God did or did not fit in:

One especially bad night I remember staring at the light in the outside hallway and feeling the horrendous finality of this road–it seemed for that moment that the end was simply the end, like driving a car into a brick wall with nothing on the other side. . . . What I was witnessing was as ordinary as morning, and now it was Caroline’s time to fall, and I found the lack of light and meaning in that picture intolerable. No wonder we came up with the resurrection myth, I thought. It offered a crack in the blackness, the only way to tolerate this end.

This got me thinking about my own views about the after-life, because I’m not sure that my belief in The Resurrection would offer much consolation to someone facing the death of a loved one.

I believe in the Virgin Birth, Jesus’ Death on The Cross, and His Resurrection and Ascension. I just do. Like my priest preached one Easter, there are just some times when you need to check your intellect at the door, and I freely do so on these point of faith.

On the other hand, I’ve always been uncomfortable with the idea of an after-life, or at least with an after-life that resembles this life in any way. I believe that Jesus’ Resurrection shows God’s triumph over death–that death is not THE END, that this life is not ALL THERE IS. But I do believe that death is “the end of the world as we know it.” I have no vision of a heaven where families and friends are reunited and hold hands skipping across the clouds. I don’t know what “happens to us” when we die, and I am happy to live like Gail lived, “need[ing] not to know–need[ing] humble ignorance.”

I must write all this with the caveat that I have not been faced with the untimely death of a loved one. I have lost grandparents, but not friends. I have friends who have lost children, but mine are safe and healthy (knock-on-wood). My faith gives me comfort in these times. Not because I think we will be reunited in heaven someday, but because I believe that they are with God, and I know that God is with me, and so in some way we are still together now.

My views do not salve the open wounds of death and loss with a promise of being together again someday, but temper them with the knowledge that God is with us in our pain, and will wipe our tears away until we find joy in the morning–if not tomorrow morning, then some morning. Death sucks for those it leaves behind, but life will get better.

Posted in My Faith | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Totally Sidelined

Posted on October 1, 2010 by Coco

I did it. I went to the podiatrist. There was no question that my toe needed medical attention, and there was no question what needed to be done.

Even after three shots of anesthesia in my toe, the “procedure” was painful but thankfully didn’t take long. As usual, the recovery will be much longer. A week of Epsom salt baths, antibiotics and NO CARDIO.

At this point, even yoga is out of the question. Heck, I can barely hobble to the bathroom. Assuming I recover basic mobility soon, it looks like I am facing a week of yoga, upper body weights, and abs. It’s hard to maintain motivation when that’s “all” I can do, but I know “something” is better than nothing and keeping up my routine will pay off in the long run.

Posted in Fitness | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Can Someone Call A Toe Truck?

Posted on October 1, 2010 by Coco

Offerring to call a “toe truck” whenever someone stubs their toe is a family joke started by my father-in-law, carried on by my husband, and, I admit, one I pull out whenever appropriate. Well, I need a toe truck and I need one badly!

Yesterday I had happy toes. I got a lovely pedicure that included a scrub, parrafin wrap, massage and application of bright pinkish-red polish. I had just shown them off to by husband when I stubbed my right big toe on our coffee table. Owie!

At first, I didn’t realize how bad it was. When the pain didn’t go away I took a closer look and saw that the toenail had lifted from the bottom left corner. Owie, owie! My husband suggested that I tape it down with a Band-Aid and some first aid tape, which I did, but that seemed to provoke intermittent sharp, shooting pains.

I went to bed with it taped up, but I don’t think I slept. Around 2:00 am I decided that if I untaped it the shooting pains might stop, so I tried to gently pull off the tape.  When that didn’t work, I got up and used my husband’s long, thin hair scissors to cut the bandaging off.  While it still hurt, I think it helped because I do think I was asleep when my alarm went off at 5:00.

This morning it is still quite painful and closed-toe shoes are out of the question. Even my husband–who firmly beleives that medical attention should be a last resort–agrees that I should see a podiatrist. The thought of having someone “finish the job” makes me nauseous, but if it speeds the recovery I guess it will be worth it.

Posted in Venting | Tagged | 2 Comments