The Cost of Being Christian

Posted on September 5, 2010 by Coco

Today’s Gospel reading was Luke 14:25-33:

If any one comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple. . . .  So therefore, whoever of you does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.

During the sermon, my priest spoke of “the cost” of being Christian. In this passge, Jesus puts a price on being His disciple. Are we willing to pay that price? And what do we get in return?

This got me thinking about the price I pay to be a Christian, or, really, asking what price do I pay? 

In this day, in this country, I do not face persecution for my faith. Some friends and colleagues are surprised that I am a church-going Episcopalian with a strong faith in God, but they don’t hate me for it, or even question me about it. 

As an Episcopalian, my religion doesn’t place many demands on me. Not like my Orthodox Jewish friends who keep kosher and strictly obeserve the Sabbath. Not like my Catholic friends who don’t eat meat on Fridays and really do give up chocolate for Lent. Not like Muslims who face persecution–or at least fear and suspicion–for their faith.

In this passage of Luke, Jesus tells me the price I should be paying–giving up family and all my possessions to be His disciple. But I haven’t paid that price.

I’ve worked hard–and prayed hard–to keep my family together. I am not leaving them for a mission trip or to join a monestary. But I don’t think that’s what Jesus is asking here. I think He means that we have to be willing to put Him first, to serve God before our families and friends, to stand up to family members and friends who may challenge our faith or throw obstacles in our paths to the altar. Still, its hard for me to identify any way that my faith has cost me family or friends.

I have a harder time reconciling Jesus’ call to renounce all I have with my world view.  I have lots of possessions that I take pleasure in, and still others that I look forward to obtaining. Yes, I do give “generously” to my church, but I am not tithing, unless you do some complicated after-tax calculations. And, while I donate to other charities, I don’t feel like my giving is in proportion to what I have. I have built up considerable savings that gives me comfort in these hard economic times and helps quell the unease I have about my job security, but I wince when I read Bible passages that warn against reliance on self instead of God, storing up treasures on earth instead of heaven, thinking for even a moment that I have any power to protect myself (or my family).

Our priest said that Biblical commentators have written that Jesus’ talk of giving up all your possessions really just means that we shouldn’t be attached to our possessions. We shouldn’t place them first. We should value relationships with family, friends and neighbors more. Even today’s Forward Day By Day essay takes this view. But I call bullshit on this. I think Jesus really does want us to give up our possessions. How can I think that he would rather that I have a new Coach bag than someone else have a roof over their head or a month’s worth of groceries for their family?

Yet, I’m not about to sell everything and give it to the poor–I haven’t been moved by the Holy Spirit that much. Being a Bible-reading Christian, I accept this as yet another way in which I fall short of Jesus’ perfect example. Being an Episcopalian, I am not miserable with guilt over this. I know that God’s love is unlimited, unconditional, and unwavering. Jesus won’t turn me away from heaven if I die with my iPhone in my pocket, but He knows there is not an app for salvation!

All in all, I feel like I am getting off cheap for being a Christian without paying these steep prices. What more can I pay? What more will I pay?

I think one price I am being “called” to pay is to talk more openly about my faith. I need to look for more opportunities to identify myself as a Christian, to explain what that means, to share my faith with others. For now, this means writing “faith” articles here on my blog. Soon, it will mean broadcasting them to my public Twitter account. Maybe someday (probably sooner than I am ready for) it will mean linking this blog to my Facebook account, where I have more friends, colleagues and family members who don’t know this much about my faith.

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Out-And-Back or Loop-de-Loop?

Posted on September 4, 2010 by Coco

So much of a training program is mental.  Sure, the physical part is challenging, but you won’t get there if you don’t overcome the mental hurdles first – getting out of bed in the morning, getting dressed in workout clothes, actually heading out the door for a run.  Sometimes we play mind games with ourselves to get it done.  Today I have been thinking about the different mental challenges of an out-and-back route versus a loop. 

I was planning on an 8 mile run on the bike path.  That would be 4 miles out and back.  When I do this run, I only have to mentally get myself to the turn-around point.  I have no doubt that I will run all the way back to where my car is parked. 🙂

While I was walking my dog, I was enticed by the cool weather (and I’ll admit it, a bit later start time than I intended) to do a neighborhood run instead.  My neighborhood runs are more challenging because I can’t go very far without encountering a serious hill, and then there will be another one, and another. 

I have a 7-ish mile loop I do, but I really wanted to do between 8 and 9, so I got on runningmap.com and figured out a 8-9 mile loop – with an option at mile 6 to make it shorter if I needed to.  I was struck by how hard it was to plot out such a long loop.  I had to venture into new territory, cross a “mental” divide into areas I consider to be “too far” away, and run through new neighborhoods – including right past my dad’s house (“Hi, dad!”).

Even running the route, it felt long.  Maybe part of that was because it was my first time running this route – although the first 3.25 miles were part of my usual loop, the next 2.75 were along roads I haven’t run on since my high school days (and I was NOT a runner back then, but forced to do cross-country by some horrible scheduling error that made P.E. impossible).  At the decision point at mile 6, I opted for the longer route, but more because it delayed the final hill for another mile than because I was feeling so energetic.  The rest of my route was famliar, and the mental part got easier again.

My neighborhood loops always are more of a mental challenge than my out-and-back routes,  I think because I never feel like I am “halfway done.”  I may have hit mile 4, but I still have new hills to climb before I’m done. Its the same on the treadmill.  The last half of a treadmill workout is never easier.  I never hit the half way time and think “Woohoo! Halfway done!”  It’s more like, “Great, I’m only halfway done.”

I feel completely different about races, though.  I do not like out-and-back races.  I do not like hitting the turn-around point and knowing I am only halfway done.  I do not like having the elite (and not-so-elite) runners pass me on their way back when I still have a way to go before I turn around.  I don’t like running down a hill on the first leg knowing that it will be “all up” on the way back.  For races, I would rather run a loop or a point-to-point course, where once I’ve conquered a mile I am done with it!

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Yoga . . . Hmmm

Posted on September 3, 2010 by Coco

Today I stuck with my plan to do yoga for my morning workout. I have an old Beth Shaw YogaFit tape (yes, it is an actual VHS tape) with a 35 min workout that I do like, but I’m not sure I can do this every week as part of my ATM training program. 

I know yoga is good for me. I know I need to balance my more intense workouts with some more gentle ones. But yoga doesn’t get my endorphins flowing.  It doesn’t even really wake me up. I finish and I don’t feel like I’ve done anything. I know that’s not true.  I know I’ve worked my muscles. I’m sure I’ll feel some tomorrow. But, for me, doing yoga  just isn’t satisfying in the moment.

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Running Blind

Posted on September 2, 2010 by Coco

Today I planned a 4+ mile neighborhood run. When I got outside I realized that my Garmin was dead, dead, dead.  It must have gotten knocked out of alignment with the charger. Frustrating, but I didn’t care enough about my pace today to opt for the treadmill.  Instead, I started the “stopwatch” on my iPod nano and headed out.

I felt tired (not sleeping enough this week) and knew my pace was pretty slow, but I was disappointed when I checked the stopwatch where I thought “mile 1” was and it was over 12 minutes.  (I usually average about a 10:20 min mile without trying.) I shrugged it off, figured I needed an “easy” day, and decided to be content and enjoy just running.  I noticed that my breathing was easy and I enjoyed the almost-cool weather.  I recognized that I’ve come a long way to be able to enjoy a run that wouldn’t impress anyone.  There was a time when a sucky pace would ruin my run for me – if not my whole day.

When I hit the top of the last hill – what I figured to be “mile 3” – I checked the stopwatch again and it was at about 34 min – still a slow pace but at least a bit faster than 12 min miles.  I finished strong and hit my “finish line” at 47 minutes.

Curiosity about my run – and my pace – got the best of me and I plotted out my route on runningmap.com.  It turns out that I ran 4.6 miles, so my pace was about a 10:13 min mile – not a speed workout or tempo run for sure, but much faster than I would have expected for a run that really did feel “easy.”

There are several things I learned today. First, I suck at pacing myself!  But I knew that already.  Second, my years of battling injuries really have enabled me to brush off pace goals and just enjoy the fact that I am running.  Third, it probably is a good idea to run every once in a while without a Garmin or treadmill to set/monitor my pace, so I can just run at whatever pace feels good.

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Sears Sucks!

Posted on September 2, 2010 by Coco

Here’s my Sears saga.  Don’t by an appliance from Sears.  If you do, hope it never breaks because it may never get fixed.

We got a new dishwasher from Sears (a “top-of-the line” Kenmore Elite) on January 10 (2010). The dishwasher stopped working in July, still under warranty.  I called the warranty 800# for service on July 29, and was surprised and disappointed when the earleist available appointment was August 12, from 1-5 pm. 

On August 12, I took the afternoon off from work to make sure I was home.  (“He will call before he comes and if you don’t answer the appointment will be canceled.”)  When I hadn’t heard anything by mid-afternoon, I called the 800# to check on the appointment and it was confirmed.  When I still hadn’t heard anything by 4:30 I called again, and the CSR said he would send a message to the technician to call me with an ETA.  The technician called about an hour later to say he was in a town about an hour away, but would be at my house @ 6:30 pm. 

He did arrive about 6:30, 1.5 hours after the appointment window was over, after I took off 1/2 day from work to be home from 1-5. 

He spent 5 min to diagnose the problem, did not have the part, and ordered the part to be sent to our house.  I was mad because I’d told the warranty people what was wrong – couldn’t they have suggested the parts to have on hand?  The technician said they don’t do things that way.  Obviously.  He told me to call for another appointment once the part arrived. 

The part arrived on August 18, and on August 19 I called the 800# for another service appointment.  Although I had been told I could get a Saturday appointment for the follow-up, the first available Saturday appointment was September 11.  The earliest appointment was Aug 25, from 1-5, so I took that.  During that call, I explained how the technician was late for the first appointment, how he didn’t have the part, and how we were going on 1 month with a broken dishwasher.  The person assured me that my appointment would be handled well.

The next day, on August 19, they called and said they didn’t really have an appointment for me on August 25, and rescheduled to September 2, from 1-5 pm. 

Yesterday (September 1) we recieved the standard, automated, day-before call confirming the appointment.  I again took the afternoon off of work to be home for the appt. At 4:30 I hadn’t heard anything, so I called the #800 number.  They confirmed the appt but wouldn’t do anything more until AFTER the appointment window was over (after 5:00 pm). 

I called again at 5:30 and again the appointment was confirmed, and the CSR said he would send a message to the technician to have him let me know when he was going to arrive.  I asked to speak with a supervisor, but the CSR said they would register a complaint on my behalf. 

I called again at 6:30 and was told that the technician had “gone home” and the appointment would have to be rescheduled!  I was specifically told that the technician had “no obligation” to conduct appointments after 5pm.  Nice!  I’m “obliged” to take the afternoon off, but Sears is not “obliged” to make sure someone shows up.  I again asked to speak with a supervisor and this time was transferred to someone else.  That person apologized but all he could do was schedule a new appointment, for September 7, 1-5 pm. 

So, now I am faced with taking ANOTHER half -day off work to sit at home and hope someone shows up.  Aside from the inconvenience and stress of having to take more time off to sit at home (and make up that lost work time later), I am tired of washing dishes!!

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