Learning to Listen

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Coco

Today I attended Discernment Committee Training led by a facilitator from the (Episcopalian) Diocese of Virgina. I am on a committee that is going to help a woman from our church “discern” whether she is being “called” to the priesthood. The discernment process is a unique approach to decision-making that focuses on asking questions, listening to answers, and listening for God’s voice–the Holy Spirit. That means that sitting in silence is an essential part of discernment–not an easy practice for a Type-A attorney like me!

Our training was based on two Books: Listening Hearts: Discerning Call in Community (Farnham, Gill, McLean & Ward) and Grounded in God: Listening Hearts Discernment for Group Deliberations (Farnham, Hull & McLean).  The books provide guidelines for learning to listen that literally had me laughing out loud at the contrast to how I “listen” and interact with others on a daily basis:

  •  Listen to others with your entire self (senses, feelings, intuition, imagination, and rational faculties)
    How often is part of me “somewhere else” when I am “listening”?
  • Pause between speakers to absorb what has been said.
    Even in our training meeting, this was difficult. It is hard enough not to talk over someone. To leave a space of “silence” before speaking takes conscious effort.
  • Do not formulate what you want to say while someone else is speaking.
    Don’t I always do this? I will even take notes to make sure I don’t forget my points. This guideline reminds me that I am not really listening if my mind already has moved on to what I want to say.
  • Speak for yourself only, expressing your own thoughts and feelings, referring to your own experiences. . . . Steer away from broad generalizations.
    This one is easier for me, as I have learned that my daughter is more open to what I have to say if I focus on my experiences while being careful not to assume that my thoughts apply to her situation.

When I was invited to participate in this discernment committee, I was promised (warned?) that committee members often find that their own spiritual life is enriched by the process. Just reading the books and participating in the training–the prayers, the questions, the silence–has me looking at listening in a whole new light. 

Who knows what I will hear?

Posted in My Faith | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Variety Spices Up My Weight Training Routine

Posted on September 9, 2010 by Coco

My routine for my “weights” day has lots of variety. Today I started with my usual dog walk, taking the loop that makes it a bit more than 1 mile.  My dog keeps a good pace and we cover some serious hills, so its a nice wake-up warm-up.  When we got back I fixed a protein shake (Beverley Chocolate Muscle Provider – yum!) so I would have enough energy for my workout. I got my heart rate up with 15 min of forward/reverse intervals on the elliptical. Then I did my 35 min free weights super-sets routine :

  • dead lifts/push-ups
  • lunges/bicep curls
  • squats/overhead press
  • plie squats/lateral raises
  • side-lying leg lifts/skull-crushers/crunches

I do 3 sets of each move, with 12-15 reps for each set.  I don’t usually rest in between sets, but I may take my time switching weights or grabbing a sip of water .

I didn’t used to like doing weights, but now I really do–and actually look forward to it.  Maybe its the variety of my routine or the satisfaction I get completing each rep, each set, and feeling strong.

Posted in Fitness | Tagged | 1 Comment

Pick a Plan, Any Plan

Posted on September 8, 2010 by Coco

My “training program” for the Army Ten Miler is loose and flexible to say the least.  I plan to run three days a week, including a “long” run of 6-9 miles.  I plan to do “hill” workouts.  I plan to do “speed” workouts.  I think I should alternate those and do a “speed” workout one week and a “hill” workout the next, to avoid burnout and reduce the risk of injury.  That’s as detailed as I’ve gotten.

Since I did a “speed” workout last week, I planned to do a “hill” workout today (never mind that I did a tempo run on Monday . . . .).  But, I was tired when I got up, and my legs felt tired, so I wasn’t raring to go.  My dog needed some extra tending to, and I thought that maybe I should mop the kitchen floor since I never got around to it yesterday . . . . 

While I was getting out the mop, I realized that it was still early, and that I still had time for my full workout.  I reminded myself that I would regret ditching my plan, and told myself that I shouldn’t let the window of opportunity for my workout go by.  So, I put the mop and bucket aside, and headed for the TM.

It was a fine workout.  Not too grueling or interminably long, but challenging enough to feel worthwhile.  It left me dripping with sweat, so I had to shower before I could even consider mopping–which I wisely put off until after I’d had my coffee. 

Today I learned that having a plan–any plan–can make the difference between getting in a workout and finding a “reason” not to.  It didn’t matter that my plan wasn’t written down in a magazine, or copied from a website, or marked on my calendar.  I had a plan, and that was enough to make me want to stick with it.

Posted in Fitness | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Pick a Plan, Any Plan

Alfonso Saves The Day!

Posted on September 7, 2010 by Coco

I stayed home from work today for my Sears dishwasher repair appointment, which was rescheduled from last Thursday’s no-show appointment.  As before, the appointment window was from 1-5.  I was relieved when, a bit before 2, the technician called me to say that he was on his way. I would have been really worried if I hadn’t heard anything by the end of the appointment window, which is what happened with my previous two appointments.  

Alfonso arrived within a few minutes, and took some time to diagnose the problem.  He was very polite, professional and seemed genuinely concerned about fixing my dishwasher. I was pretty near crushed, though, when he told me that he needed a fitting to be able to connect the new valve to the existing hose, and didn’t have the right part in his truck.  I half-joked that there was a Home Depot less than 10 minutes away, but he said he could give it a try! I explained how to get there and he packed up his gear, with a promise to be back as sooon as he could.

Within an hour, he called me again, saying that he had the part and was on his way back!

He got it installed and ran the dishwasher through a test cycle–success!

He told be about the customer service evaluations that I would be asked to fill out, and I asked him how I could give him an excellent rating while still registering a complaint about the rest of the process.  He gave me a phone number to call, which I will do in a few days when I have recovered from the ordeal and am confident that my dishwasher actually is fixed.

Posted in Venting | Tagged , | Comments Off on Alfonso Saves The Day!

Carpe Diem: Tempo Run

Posted on September 6, 2010 by Coco

I usually plan my week around my long run on Saturday and do weights M/W/F, run T/Th/Sat, and take Sun “off.” Between today being Labor Day (I had to go into work since I have to stay home tomorrow for the Sears dishwasher service appointment, but I didn’t have to be there at a certain time) and the weather being AMAZING (upper 50’s!), I opted for a run outside. 

Since I am “training” for the ATM, I decided–when I felt good during my warmup–that today would be a “tempo” run. After hitting mile 1 at 10:20, the rest of my miles were 9:30 or  faster, so I think that qualifies as a “tempo” run.  I ended up covering 4.7 miles in 45 min.

Afterwards, I took some time to do some good stretching while my coffee brewed, showered, ate breakfast and still got to work before 10:00.  It would have been nice to stay home, but it wasn’t a bad “holiday.”

Tomorrow I have to hit the weights.  I need to keep working on those inner thigh muscles to keep my ITB quiet. (Thanks for that advice, Cooth, it seems to be working!).

Posted in Fitness | Tagged , | Comments Off on Carpe Diem: Tempo Run