If you caught up with me last week, you know I went on a very hilly group bike ride last weekend. You also know my main reason for choosing that challenge is the very hilly Pennsylvania Dutch Farm To Fork Fondo we will be doing at the end of July. Although I made it up all the hills last year, it was HARD, and there were a few close calls. I want to feel stronger this year, and I know the only way those climbs will be easier is if I do some hard rides now.
Well, the ride I did last weekend was plenty hard. And even though I made it through the ride, and there was only one hill I couldn’t handle–or didn’t handle correctly–instead of looking forward to “next time” with a bit more confidence, I am even more afraid because I know exactly what I’ll be in for.
When I told my husband I already was psyching myself out over maybe going again next weekend, he said:
You don’t have to do it.
That stopped me in my tracks–luckily I was sitting at my new kitchen counter and not clipped in! 🙂
I am used to my friends encouraging me to go for it, telling me I can do it, reminding me I am strong.
His remark was so different from what I was expecting, I felt deflated.
At first I was annoyed at him for not supporting me, but then I realized he was right.
I don’t have to do that hard, hilly bike ride again. I don’t have to face hills that put knots in my stomach just thinking about them. Heck, I don’t even have to go to Lancaster in July.
But since I do want to ride in the Farm To Fork Fondo again, and since I have friends who are becoming regulars at that hilly group ride, I want to want to do that ride again too.
I still don’t know if my husband’s words were more discouraging or empowering, but they made me admit that if I do show up to Conte’s Bike Shop next weekend, it will be because I am choosing the challenge–and maybe because Deborah might be there too. 🙂
Weekly Wrap
When I went to Revolve this week, I talked to Aimee about my hill hysteria, and how I can get more out of indoor cycling. While I ride with heavy resistance, my cadence is not very fast. That’s fine inside where my bike can’t fall over, but I need to maintain momentum to get up those hills outside. I’m going to put more effort into my cadence at Revolve, and hope that pays off in Pennsylvania too.
I’m linking up with &Holly and Tricia for the Weekly Wrap and joining Courtney‘s Training Recap link up.
Monday: OTF
Tuesday: Strength Training
Wednesday: Easy Run
Thursday: Indoor Cycling
Friday: Core Power Yoga
Saturday: 9 mile run + 11 mile bike ride
Sunday: Rest
Do you think it’s empowering to remember you are choosing to challenge yourself?
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I too feel deflated when my husband makes similar comments or when I feel he is not supportive of my goals. Usually it just makes me more determined.
Good luck on your hilly ride. Be safe!
YESSS. I harness those words and turn em inside out and use them to motivate here, too.
Great week, quiet the variety of workouts! I too feel defeated when I hear that comment from my husband but it’s just another way to look at it. I also appreciate when my husband nudges me out the door, that happens more then feeling defeated.
I do think it’s empowering to know that I’m choosing to do hard things. Actually, my sister is not talking to me right now because I’m running. She thinks I shouldn’t be. I told her it wasn’t her choice. It’s been interesting to hear what people think.
You do what you want to do!
I think that can definitely be taken different ways, but I like the one you went with–yay for choosing challenge! (I tend to go for that too unlessss I’m actively recognizing that I really need to give myself a break. 😛 )
I’m definitely one for setting challenges for myself (within reason). I think that the only way you can really grow is through challenging yourself.
my husband has made similar comments to me. I know it’s not because he is not supportive but he is correct. I (we) don’t have to do it we choose to do it. If if makes you feel any better, I got knots in my stomach before the rides that I did too. They have made me stronger and if I want to be stronger I have to do them. Hope to see you there next Saturday!
Yes, he didn’t mean to be not supportive – just practical — In his mind I could stop stressing about it if I just decided not to do it. That’s not the option I’m leaning towards!
actually, yes, it’s good to remind ourselves that not only are we choosing the challenge, we are also in an amazing position to actually complete such a challenge. When things get really hard I just have to think about my mother-in-law, who is wheelchair bound, who I know would give absolutely ANYTHING to be able to ride her bike again. I feel humbled and privileged to be able to do it. If someone says to me “you don’t have to do it” then it sparks the reason why I WANT to do it in the first place. I do think it’s very important to have this reminder occasionally.
You will be great. You can definitely do it and you are CHOOSING it! that’s awesome!
Yes! That’s exactly where I’ve been with this (mentally).
Yes, it’s empowering to CHOOSE to do tough things! Personally, I like taking on challenges that most people shun (out of their OWN fear of failure, not mine). Sure, sometimes I come up short on my goals, but I never regret trying.
I haven’t ^regretted^ any challenging bike rides, but I have gotten injured. The risk is real. 🙂
I do find it very easy to talk myself out of stuff. And then sometimes I manage to face my fears and do stuff (like a muddy trail half!).
I don’t know if your husband was encouraging or not — always so hard to tell with him — but he’s right, it’s your choice. No shame either way.
Hey, bikes scare me! Yeah, I could hurt myself running, but it’s so much easier on a bike and then there’s the whole traffic thing.
My guess is you’ll do it — and be glad that you did.
Yeah, the hills are just one layer of fear. Traffic and potholes are a concern too! My husb meant well, but I wasn’t prepared for that jolt of truth!
Got to love those hubby comments! Mine does the same! Usually it just pisses me off/ empowers me to get over myself and just get out there and do it! You got this- it is your choice!
I’m trying to channel it in that direction!
I think it’s a great reminder that we don’t HAVE to do the things we do. We choose to be active and healthy. We choose to push ourselves. Making that choice is, in itself, a challenge.
Yes, so much of the challenge is in my head!
It is a good reminder to know we’re choosing to do all of this. If we’re questioning why we’re doing it, knowing we’re choosing it is good motivation.
Yes, remembering it’s a choice is empowering in itself.
I feel this same way about swimming. SO many people ask me why I continue if I do not enjoy it. I feel like quitting now before my triathlon would be admitting defeat. I’m going to do it because I can. You’re going to conquer those hills too!
Hah, It becomes a matter of honor too, right?
I don’t cycle much and hubby is not a runner, but he is supportive. I can tell I annoy him too if I mention a trip that might happen to include a race! Lol. He’s a lot better now than when I first started.
Yeah, this is the first year I’ve ever done a “racecation” and I’m not sure my husband is a big fan!
That’s so tough when people say things like that, right? On the one hand, it lights a fire because “you’re right, I don’t *have* to. But now I’m going to to prove you that I *can.*” And on the other hand — why can’t they just be supportive?! Haha. 🙂
Well, and he probably thought he was being supportive – I’d stop worrying about it if I just decided not to do it!
I do think its empowering to recognize that we are choosing to do hard things! And sometimes its nice to remember that we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. Great job this week!
Thanks. It’s amazing how much one comment has me thinking – and rethinking!
I understand how you feel. I would probably have the same reaction. Meant to ask, do you go to the OTF in Old Town? Been wanting to try.
Yes, I go to the OT OTF 🙂 I usually go @ 5 am – want to join me? 😉
My husband has made similar comments to me before too. I love knowing that I’ve taken on a difficult challenge. That “high” you experience when you conquer that challenge is so worth all of the sweat and hard work that it takes to accomplish it.
Yes, it really is thrilling to conquer your fears. I guess that’s what it’s all about.
Men are problem solvers …he simply solved the problem he though you were presenting. What they don’t realize is that we aren’t really asking for a solution but simply for reassurance. I know that you know he meant well and I’m glad that you decided to take the challenge anyway! As much as you cycle indoors ….you can and WILL crush those hills! Go for it girl!
Yes! You nailed it! Now I need to nail those hills. 🙂
I think it’s a great message – these are the choices that we make! Even though it’s really scary sometimes, it seems that I love to go after a challenge. I’m sure you’ll do great in July, it’s natural to be nervous! Working on the indoor rides sounds like a great strategy!
“these are the choices we make” — sounds so poetic!
My husband told me the same thing as I fretted while standing under his umbrella waiting on a race start in a downpour. But, it made me more determined to do it. I think those comments are a great reminder that we aren’t stuck. We can change our minds if we need to. And, it’s ok to do so. There are always options. Thanks for linking, Coco!
LOL. He probably was wondering if he had a choice in the matter! 🙂
I have had friends and family make similar comments to me before too. I think that we are just looking for a bit of positive reassurance a – You Got This! However, to people outside of the running, biking world it may seem strange to them.
That’s so true! They wonder why we torture ourselves so much!
Riding a bike is a great way to relieve stress – at least for me and it also can be very challenging. I still prefer running obviously, but bike has something special. I need to go out on a bike at least twice a week if the weather is good!
That’s great! I’m lucky if I get on my bike once a week, although I try to do indoor cycling once a week as well.
I think that is why some people don’t get us. Not your husband he totally gets you and maybe knew it would put you in the mindset to accept the challenge. But most people just don’t even try hard things.
If it makes them feel the least bit uncomfortable they quit or even thinking about it and they won’t even consider it. Why is that?
Pondering questions is all I leave you with Coco! 🙂
Thanks for linking up!
Love your questions! I think they don’t understand how powerful those endorphins can be. Or how satisfying it is to conquer that goal.