While I like to supplement my road biking with indoor cycling, my husband likes to take his mountain bike on unpaved paths through the park. I blame credit his childhood love of motocross which he redirected to BMX when our kids were younger. He loves the rough terrain, jumping over logs and crossing creeks. Since I am not running these days, last weekend I agreed to join him on an “easy” path.
Putting on a brave face.
We started out slowly. He led the way so he could pick out the smoothest parts of the trail and show me the way through the rougher parts. Just as I was gaining confidence, we approached the first hill. I panicked because I really hadn’t figured out how to change gears, and knew I needed to downshift. I gave the hill my all, but it won. Right at the crest, I lost momentum and fell over, slowly enough to unclip my left foot, but not my right. I wasn’t hurt, and wasn’t even that embarrassed to have several cyclists and walkers witness my fall. I got back on my bike, my husband showed me how to shift gears, and we kept going.
After a few miles on the gravel trail we arrived at Lake Accotink Park, where we picked up a mostly-paved section of the Cross County Trail. I enjoyed the scenery, practiced shifting gears, and got a bit more comfortable with my bike. Still, I was cautious. While my husband cruised across this creek crossing, I dismounted and used the stepping stones.
We were about 45 minutes into our ride when I realized that our route was not a big loop. The paved trail wasn’t going to let us out near the parking lot. I was going to have to turn around and make it back the way we’d come. Back up the hills I had just cautiously coasted down. Back through the sand at Lake Accotink. Back over those gravelly hills.
Respecting Fear
As I rode, I thought about my fear, and the importance of respecting fear. My husband was good. He didn’t minimize my fears, or tell me I was silly to be afraid. He was patient with my slow pace. He tried to be helpful and encouraging without being overbearing. Would I do the same for a friend?
When I love an activity that I want friends to enjoy, I may prod them to join me without respecting their hesitation. What is there to fear about running (except maybe this)? Why wouldn’t you want to join me at an indoor cycling class? What could hold me you back from walking into a CrossFit box? If I let my passion override my compassion, I may scare my friends away instead of helping them get comfortable enough to join me.
I wasn’t going to let my fear stop me from riding my bike, but I had to acknowledge my fear, go slowly, and gradually gain confidence. Respecting fear doesn’t mean giving in to it. It means facing it down on your own terms.
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How do you face down fear?
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Totally on board with this philosophy! Sometimes pushing out of our comfort zone can have bad results. I think there’s a lot to be said for knowing your limits/fears and appreciating them.
I am so afraid of mountain biking! I know I would just kill myself. Good for you for getting out there and trying it
Amen sister! I faced my own fear dragon with learning to swim this year. Many people fell into 2 camps: those that didn’t get my fear and felt like I should be able to just swim already, and those that thought I should give up and never learn because I didn’t enjoy it. I totally get your feelings about mountain biking. Glad you took it slow and faced your fear.
Oh, yes, swimming is an activity that a lot of people are afraid of. You’ve done so well facing down those fears
In your next post I expect to see you doing BMX-type moves on that bike. Yes? Fear can’t hold back The Coco Puff. 😉
I think a few brain cell might object to that – I leave the go-pro worthy rides to my husband!
True fear is absolutely something that you should respect. Hello, your every instinct is telling you something is DANGER. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take ourselves to that brink every now and then. But you definitely have to respect it!
Couldn’t agree with you more! Always wise to listen to your instincts.
When you feel so comfortable doing something, it’s hard to imagine that it may be someone’s biggest fear. For years, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get people to ski. I finally realized, most people don’t even like getting in lake water…much less zipping over the water. LOL. It was very nice that your husband was patient and let you do this ride on your own terms.
Oh, gosh, I love water skiing but there is a lot of fear – including doing a face plant while all your friends are watching!
love this! Kudos for getting out there and facing the fear! I would be super scared myself! Your hubby earned some points this weekend I bet 🙂
Awesome job. So freaking proud of you.
Now ziplining could be scary too!
I have a mountain bike and a ROAD BIKE scare me!!
It’s always hard when you are trying something new, it’s good hubby was patient 🙂 Trail riding scares me, I don’t like the slipping and sliding, it was great you conquered it.
I am not great at facing fears. It’s why I don’t bike & therefore don’t try tris.
For the most part I don’t find running scary. Frustrating, yes. Difficult, yes. Sometimes painful. But not really scary unless it’s scared of being last or lost or hurt.
Good for you AND your husband!
finally making it to comment after reading this a few times.
for me NOW it is about realizing what is A GOOD HEALTHY AND SMART FEAR and what isnt.
What is simply trepidation putting my excitement on pause.
Yes, I think that comes with facing your fear – where is it coming from and what does it mean. Sometimes that fear can help you succeed if you realize you need to do more preparation to get over it – whether it’s preparing for a presentation or learning to shift gears before you get on the trail!
Fun! I get ya on the fear thing, I would be uncomfortable tackling that type of biking too. I bet it’s super good for you, and crazy good cross training!
I guess the way I can relate to this is when John first started open water swimming.. he wasn’t a fan. I hope I was patient with him! Either way, he’s great in the water now, and often beats my swim times!
I can so relate to the fear of mountain. I have one all set and ready to ride but am too scared to get on the trails and off the dirt path. Respecting fear is definitely important.
I’m right there with you. I face fear head on. That’s what I did last year, tackling my 2d Chicago marathon after I had that horrible first attempt. I refuse to be defined by my fears.
Love this post!
I really enjoyed this blog post. My husband and I have been rock climbing recently and do a ton of outdoors stuff. It’s so easy to goad people into doing the sports you love without taking into consideration their own experiences and that it may take them time. Thanks for this reminder!
Oh, rock climbing – and anything with heights is another activity that people can be afraid of – and that I could see gaining confidence in very slowly.