You Can Lead A Horse To Water …

This week I’m participating in Jill’s Fitness Friday blog hop, and taking the opportunity to vent about something that has been frustrating me for a while.

I’ve been on the health and fitness bandwagon for over ten years now, but I still get frustrated when my family just doesn’t get it. You know the phrase, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”? For me, it’s “You can set a healthy example, but you can’t make anyone follow.”

My first experience with this type of disappointment happened when I shared a great strawberry tart recipe from Cooking Light with my Dad. He proudly told me that they had made the recipe for a brunch, but used full-fat cream cheese instead of light cream cheese. Basically they didn’t follow the one change that made a lighter recipe because they were afraid that the recipe wouldn’t taste as good without the full-fat cheese. (Since I had made it myself, I knew it was delicious!)

 

I knew my son was a hopeless cause. He used to tease me by ordering a “heart attack on a plate” (a bacon cheese burger and fries), or a “diabetic coma on a plate” (a hot fudge brownie sundae) when we went out to eat. The best I could do was impose a “rule” that he had to pick one or the other.

Matt in Speyer

At least he loves fruit. This is the decadent dessert he got on our family vacation to Germany last year–the sundae glass is filled with fruit and topped with one scoop of ice cream.

With my daughter my concerns run in the other direction. She seems to live off of Starbucks lattes and fruit and yogurt smoothies. Is that how college women do a “balanced diet” these days?

My husband presents different challenges. He wants to eat more healthfully, but sometimes he just doesn’t get it. His go-to snacks are graham crackers with peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches on soft white bread. (Have you taken a closer look at the Nutella nutrition information? I did, in this post.) Those snacks are fine once in a while, but don’t seem appropriate as a staple in the diet of someone with Type 2 diabetes.

He will ask me to buy “fruit and vegetables” at the grocery store, but unless I wash and slice the fruit and make tubs of celery sticks for him to take to work, these healthy foods will sit uneaten in the refrigerator for days.

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Last week he asked me to buy ketchup and BBQ sauce at the grocery store–to put on the chicken nuggets he was planning to have for dinner while I went out of town. At least I convinced him to fix Purdue chicken nuggets from the grocery store instead of stopping at McDonald’s on the way home from work!

Nutrition isn’t the only thing he doesn’t get. He’s also behind on environmental issues and recycling. Have you seen waste bins like these?

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This is from Starbucks, but they have similar ones at my son’s college. The idea is to remind you what happens to the waste that you do not recycle–it ends up in a landfill. At first my husband thought that was a good thing–confusing landfill with composting!

I know the healthy example that I am setting is making a difference, even if my family isn’t always close behind. In fact, the one change that everyone seems to have made is to drink more water!

Does your family follow your healthy example? 

Do you get frustrated when they don’t?

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15 Responses to You Can Lead A Horse To Water …

  1. Thank goodness my husband is on the bandwagon too. But as most of the rest of my family – forget it! I try not to nag but sometimes it drives me so crazy I have to say something. At least I haven't started cleaning out their pantries.

  2. Miz says:

    the child? YES the HUSBAND? NO NO NO.
    and thats all I be saying publicly 🙂

  3. Prayers and Apples says:

    My mom is the only one who makes a *real* effort – even though my dad and brother always rush to tell me any time they do something 'healthy' lol

  4. @ElizPierce says:

    Stopping by from Fitness Friday! Thanks for the post on Nutella. I honestly have never read the label… I finally talked my husband in to running with me this summer with a bet that he couldn't train for a half marathon in 6 weeks (he had never run more than 6 miles… and that was only once)! Well, he did it… and loves running now. He even fusses that he doesn't get to run as much as he wants because of a crazy work schedule. I am still struggling to get him to eat as healthy as I would like. He still claims he LOVES Burger King. Ugh. I did figure out that if I leave a bowl of apples in the kitchen, he will eat one every day!!

    Elizabeth from http://www.livingrunningcooking.com!

  5. mommyrunfaster says:

    I definitely get your frustration… my mom and I have had lots of talks about nutrition over the years while I've changed things in our diet or cooking style, but she never has… I'm finally learning to just let it go and not nag about the white bread on her counter or the processed snacks… change is hard, but especially hard to take from a close family member! It seems most effective when coming from an outside source!

  6. Jen says:

    My daughter is 3 so I do my best to start her off with a healthy example but know as she gets older she will make her own choices more often, I hope she will remember all the stuff I try to show her 🙂 BTW that Sundae looks perfect 🙂

  7. In my experience, it's a slow process, but if you keep it up and don't let them slide you back, they'll come around. I've also found that the extra effort YOU put in–like washing and slicing the produce to have ready-to-eat in the fridge–is what will make all the difference. Having things easy and ready to go means they'll just go to grab a snack or healthy leftover meal, without even considering how healthy or unhealthy it is. Just keep doing what you're doing, making the best choices for YOU and leading by example, and hopefully they'll slowly and steadily follow in your footsteps. Good luck!

  8. Jill Conyers says:

    My husband follows my healthy habits for the most part because I make the weekly menu and because I convinced him to make a few small changes and he experienced how much better it made him feel. It helps that he is a runner and that is something we enjoy doing together. My kids? Kind of but in at the point where I hope the example I'm setting now will make a difference when they get older. Interesting post!

  9. Tina says:

    I'm very fortunate that my family is fairly health conscious adn Peter and my kids enjoy healthy things. Peter's family though thinks I'm coocoo. It's always a pain with tons of comments whenever we do family things with them.

  10. Carrie says:

    My family is the same way. My husband is finally slowly coming over to the 'less-processed' side. My mother-in-law is the worst, she's super unhealthy and it's really awful to watch. She complains about her health but then also always has a jar of cookies on the counter. My in laws read my blog every day and I know that things are slowly sinking in.

    As far as the teenage boy thing – my only hope is that my son is armed with enough information that when his metabolism becomes more like an adult one that he'll be able to have the tools he needs to compensate. The biggest lesson I try to make sure they remember is to only eat when they're hungry and to not mindlessly eat in front of the tv or while playing video games.

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