Meditating On Meditation

A few weeks ago I signed up to receive daily “Lenten Meditations” from the Episcopal Relief & Development Fund. “Meditation” is not my thing. I resisted yoga for years because it doesn’t fit my type-A personality and go-go-go lifestyle, but I’ve recognized that it really is good for me. My body needs yoga. My body craves yoga. But meditation is a bigger challenge. In the morning, my mind wanders–or races. In the evening, I can’t sit still without falling asleep. I have a feeling that meditation would be good for me, but I haven’t figured out how to make it work for me.

I had a hectic week at work this week, and let a few days go by without even skimming the meditation emails.  When I finally took a few minutes to look at them, I was confronted with messages I know I need to hear, but am not sure that I am ready, willing or able to act on just yet.

From Monday’s meditation:

One of the marks of the observance of a holy Lent is self-examination. As you examine your life and commitments, perhaps you will discover you are in need of healing from excessive busyness. We work too much for a variety of reasons–fear of losing a job, a desire to be recognized and rewarded, a means of escape, high expectations and demands from self or others and sometimes love of what we are doing. At what cost? Like fire, excessive busyness can lead to burnout or consume us entirely if we are not attentive to how we approach work.

May you understand work as vocation–an endeavor to which you are called by God. May you may come to know that God’s dream for you doesn’t include exhaustion, stress-related illness, pressure to produce due to unreasonable demands or loss of time with those you love. Give yourself a break.

Was I really reading this as I was waiting for a late evening conference call that would make me miss dinner with my family? Ouch!

Then there was Tuesday’s meditation, based on the first chapter of Mark:

The first chapter of Mark’s Gospel offers a glimpse into a day in the life of Jesus. And what a busy day it was! Teachings and healings and miracles–and crowds following him, pressing around him, wanting something from him. It all sounds exhausting. And terribly familiar.

I am particularly thankful, then, when I come to verse 35:
“In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.”
In the midst of demands on his time and energy, Jesus took the time to find a quiet place, a “deserted place,” and there found renewal and refreshment.

Wow. If I think I have to work long hours, late nights, and many weekends because my work is “important” and my clients “need” me, this certainly dispels that grandiose notion. Whose work could be more important than Jesus’? Whose “clients” could be more needy? If Jesus can take time out to pray, I really have no excuse.

I am taking time in the morning to listen to David Guthrie’s Daily Prayer podcasts. (He is such a good narrator/storyteller, he usually keeps my mind from wandering!) I will give myself credit for carving out that time, and consider where else (when else?) I might find my own deserted place to pray, or even meditate.

Do you carve out any regular quiet time?

Do you meditate?