Seeeking God’s Love

I’m not Catholic, but I’ve always been fascinated by Catholicism, nuns, and the idea of joining a convent. My interest drew me into an article in my October issue of O magazine about a woman who joined a convent in 1977, at the age of 19: “In Search Of Sisterhood” by Mary Johnson.

In the article, Mary recounts her first days with the Missionaries of Charity, a convent associated with Mother Theresa. She writes about Sister Carmeline, the nun in charge of newcomers, and her efforts to teach the aspirants discipline and humility. She also writes about her first encounter with Mother Theresa, and how she was moved by her simple yet powerful message of love:

God loved the world so much that he gave his son, Jesus–the beginning of Christianity, the giving. And Jesus kept on saying, ‘Love one another as I have loved you.’ Every human being created in his image to love and be loved.

In one of the last stories in the article, Mary tells about the hot summer night when she took an icy shower, only to be scolded by Sister Carmeline for committing an unknown wrong:

You should be ashamed. . . .

Selfish, disobedient and immodest. . . .

Vain. . . .

Lazy and vain. . . .

Mary felt angry, wrongly accused, and wondered if she belonged. She took her doubts to God in prayer, and was answered by a feeling that God had “wrapped me in his love and washed me in peace.”

(Another Sister told her the next day that they are not supposed to take showers, but should fill one bucket with water and use that. )

While Mary made peace with the shower incident, it got under my skin. Mary was drawn to the convent by Mother Theresa’s message of love, and was met with anything but. I am sure that Sister Carmeline thought she was doing her job, and teaching important lessons, but I have to wonder if those lessons could have been taught with kindness rather than shame.

Then I wondered, when people come to my church, wanting to hear more about God’s love, how do we treat them?

• Do we make them feel welcome by explaining our kneel-sit-stand customs, or do we leave them to figure out things on their own–even if that means they might kneel while we all stand, or vice-versa?
• Do we make sure that their children have age-appropriate activity sheets, or do we let them get bored and squirmy and then glare and them for being disruptive?
• Do we greet them after the service and invite them to coffee hour, or do we let them drift off on their own, maybe wondering if they have any reason to come back?

Our church usually errs on the side of being too friendly to visitors, but this article–and my reaction to it–reminded me to try to treat every encounter as an opportunity to demonstrate the love and kindness that keeps drawing me in.

Have you been welcomed with kindness in a new situation?

Have you felt lost or alone in a crowd of others who belonged?