Every week I look forward to the #WYCWYC podcast, and every week it leaves me with so much to ponder. A few weeks ago, Carla shared how she generally does not live a fear-based life. I know there are a few things that scare me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am living a fear based life.
With my work, I am afraid to say “no” to clients, or even ask for a reasonable deadline. Our firm emphasizes client service and we are reminded that our clients can take their work elsewhere if we don’t meet their demands. I am learning to say “Can I get you that next week?” but it is stressful to even make that request.
With cycling, I have gotten over my fear of one particular hill, but there is an entire path I am afraid to ride on because I’m not sure I can make it up its steep, twisty inclines without falling. I’ve tried running the route to demystify it, but that’s only reinforced my doubts.
Every bump makes me fear bloody knees!
I don’t have much fear about running (except this one), but when one of our MRTT leaders asked us to share what motivates us to run on those days when we don’t feel like it, my first answers were negative: fear of sliding into a slump of inactivity, fear of little “d” depression, fear of feeding that depression and gaining weight ….
I even approach my book selections with fear. I waited to read The Lovely Bones
The only two areas of life where I don’t live in fear are my relationship with my husband and my faith in God. With those solid foundations, I have to wonder why I am living such a fear-based life and what I really am afraid of.
[Tweet “Living a Fear Based Life”]
Are you motivated by fear in any aspects of your life?
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ok you KNOW I LOVE when I click to read you and am HaPpIly shocked by a link to me and my random musings.
and today? Im just in awe.
and today? I COVET your faith and unflagging husband love.
and every day? for me fear and worrying are really close to the same thing. I simply remind myself WORRYING IS PRAYING FOR WHAT I DO NOT WANT and it really does make it simple for me to lead a fairly non-fear based life.
and did I mention I love your husband love after all your years together?
<3 <3 <3
It felt like a risk to share it, because relationships do go wrong with one person claiming ignorance, but I’m pretty sure we’re in it together for the long haul. 😉
“WORRYING IS PRAYING FOR WHAT I DO NOT WANT”
I love the way you put that! I’ll have to keep that in mind as I struggle with my tendency to worry.
I know that there are definitely areas where I live in fear – my kids and those late night calls/texts are definitely some of them. And cycling! But I don’t think that fear is necessarily a bad thing. I think that it’s a matter of how you look and approach it, if it cripples you or if it’s something that you can use to learn from. I definitely have a lot to work on but that’s a perspective I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
Oh, that is so true. Except for the bike path, I do mostly push through my other fears.
oh my, you would hate the Ironman WI bike course if you’re afraid of a twisty, turny hill! I live a fear-based life on the bike too, birds man. I’m so afraid of birds, it’s kind of absurd.
I am sure that course would kick my butt, but my main fear is not being able to get up/maintain speed due to others on the path, so for an actual event that probably wouldn’t be such an issue. I just need Arlington County to close the trail for me one day so I can face my fears on my own! 😉
I wrote a post about something very similar a while back. The gyst of it is that you are either motivated by fear or by love…. so you are either running FROM something or TOWARD something. It’s a mindset that CAN be shifted.
The first step is realization. That is a BIG step. Good for you. You can change it.
Hmm. Interesting to think about. I guess right now I’m running away from bloody knees more than I’m running towards conquering those hills!
This is such an interesting topic! I think there are definitely areas of my life that I let fear take hold and control my life a little too much, but it’s something I try to work on alleviating. I probably have a general fear of losing people and so I tend to be a bit of a people pleaser because I don’t want to upset anyone. Although, I’ve been getting much better at vocalizing and prioritizing my needs. It’s definitely not easy though!
Just give it all to God hon. He will help in every aspect. I have never been very fear based in anything. I am not sure why. I wasn’t even a Christian and I never feared things. Oh wait, yes, I am afraid of Spiders and Flying. I have never been on an airplane yet I am fearful of them. However, I don’t often fear for late night phone calls or anything. I guess I know God has it all under control and if He wants something to happen, there’s not much we can do about it anyway.
I worry when my son goes out with his friends on the weekend. It’s usually just over to the University to hang out with friends. He’s a very good boy, but I worry what might happen if he were to ever get stopped by police on his way home. I had to stress the importance of him keeping his ID on him at all times, among other things. Ugh. Anyway, I need to pray about this because I don’t like that fear having control over me. God will fix it.
Oh, bless you, Josie! You have a whole other layer of things to worry about. And I agree that God needs to be making some changes! (((hugs)))
I’ve only watched Still Alice. I didn’t realize it was a book. I’ll have to add that on to the list.
The link you posted from Run Washington is terrifying. I’ve had that sinking feeling while running at night and haven’t done it again alone since. I wonder if maybe there’s a good amount of healthy fear though? Just because I SHOULD be able to run at night alone without having fear doesn’t mean it’s wise to do so unfortunately.
Yes, sometimes fear is a good thing!
I still remember those passages from Lovely Bones vividly. I’m not much of a worrier and not terribly fearful…well snakes. I feel like I’m addressing my fear of water by finally learning to swim. I can’t even imagine biking on those kinds of hills. Total flat lander here.
What a great way to face your fears head-on! I know that I have plenty of silly fears but it doesn’t make them any less a fear.
I think we all have areas we live in fear.
I turn 33 tomorrow.
I am in fear that I will never find someone who loves me like you love your husband and will never have kids. That is my big, honest, ugly fear.
There are certainly areas of my life that I come at from a place of fear – especially where my boys are concerned. And of late, I know that this is the underlying problem with my running – fear of failing. Letting go of the fear and recognizing I cannot control the outcome is something I am actively working on.
Have you read the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker? It makes a very clear distinction between fears that actually are helpful and protective, vs. fears that harm you by preventing positive actions and freedom.
One of my best strategies, when I am overwhelmed with worry about what could happen, is to imagine my dramatically safe escape: imagine telling the story of how I was so lucky and made all the right choices so that everything turned out much better than it could have. It really helps me feel confident.
I have heard of that book, but I haven’t read it. Visualizing getting through the fear is a great idea too. Thanks for the suggestions!
Good morning, at some point over the past year or 2 I realized how many of my decisions were made out of fear. Often a fear of failing. And it was holding me back from so many wonderful possibilities. So, I’ve stopped. My decisions come from a more meaningful and beautiful place. It’s not perfect and the fear tries to creep back in but I’m getting better at stopping it.
Digging deep and answering the question, what am I really afraid of is a great place to start.
Have an awesome weekend XOXO!
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