Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, we can assess our healthy eating strategies and prepare for the next big family meal(s) in December. Are you pleased with your choices? Did you decide to indulge and stick with your plan to have no regrets? I might be shocked if I knew my total calorie consumption, but I enjoyed the holiday food without feeling too stuffed, and got in plenty of exercise over the long weekend–a perfect balance in my book!
Looking ahead to December, I know I do pretty well when I’m at business functions. I try to decide ahead of time if I will indulge and how much, and have no problem waving off the waiters bearing appetizer trays time and time again (honestly, those bacon-wrapped scallops look less and less appealing as the evening wears on!). But family gatherings present a different set of issues, because that is where I am most likely to encounter food pushers.
After ten years of healthy living, I honestly believe that the best way to decline unwanted food is a simple “No, thank you.” It may not have worked very well in the campaign against illegal drugs, but it can work around the dinner table.
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Any elaboration beyond a simple “No” seems to open the floor for debate, criticism, or guilt tripping.
No, thanks, I’m full. –> But you’ve hardly eating a thing!
No thanks, I’m cutting back on carbs. –> Didn’t you hear that those diets are dangerous?
No thanks, I’ve had enough. –> Oh, but I made this special recipe just for you.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that “No, thank you” will work the first time, but if you leave it at that, and then repeat it if necessary, you should be able to fend off all but the most determined food pushers.
No, thanks. –> But you’ve hardly eating a thing! –> No, thanks.
No, thanks. –> You aren’t dieting are you? –> No, thanks.
No, thanks. –> Oh, but I made this special recipe just for you. –> I’d love to take some home if there are any leftovers.
Another problem with elaborating on your “No, thanks” is that you could end up offending others. Here are some great lines from my mother-in-law:
No thanks, I don’t like the carcinogen flavor of grilled meat.
No thanks, undercooked vegetables give me indigestion, even when I take my Nexium.
No thanks, I’m only eating desserts that look incredible.
(Luckily, I have a thick skin, a sense of humor, and was happy to have one less person to share the leftovers with!)
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So, when you are wearing red for the holidays, take Nancy Reagan’s advice, and just say “No.”
Are there food pushers in your family?
Do you try to fend them off or do you give in?
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Great advice! Keep it simple and throw in some humor for good measure 🙂
And yes, there are food pushers in my family. I used to be one of them, and I work hard to not be one anymore!
You are right I have found when I just say no thank you it is much easier. I don't even like telling them I'm allergic to wheat (I used to) I have found that opens long conversations about how and why and then makes people feel bad. I do try to bring a dish when I go to parties something healthy and party friendly. This works because you are helping the host and can eat with everyone else at the same time 😉
I've had the opposite experience with "No thank you". Seriously, people get so upset and say the stupidest crap when I politely decline the offer for more food. Someone once went as far as saying, "You don't have to watch what you eat". Actually, I do, that's why I said NO THANK YOU.
I have to say, I LOVE your MIL's responses!!! And I think they are completely appropriate ONLY AFTER you've said the "No thanks" and people still push, ha 🙂
My main problem is not having the will to say no in the first place (especially to sweets… and some cakes)… but I don't think I have food pushers in my family… I'm food pusher! 🙁
(It was supposed to be "I'm THE food pusher!" :))
I found myself recently in a situation where I was the food pusher. I didn't realize it at the time, but a few minutes later it all clicked and I was rather horrified at myself. Yuck.
I'm totally going to wear red to remind myself to say no thank you and to not be a pusher 🙂 Maybe I need one of those bracelets in red that says 'no thank you'?
I was just telling a friend this last week. For me, the magic socially acceptable phrase is, "It looks wonderful, but I'm full, thanks."
Followed by:
"No, I'm fine, thanks."
"No, I'm fine, thanks."
"No, I'm fine, thanks."
By the time they get to the third non-rephrasing, they get the message and start feeling awkward (as they should!).
Another great one is, "I'll have some later," and when they ask later, "Mmm, yes, it was great." (For those who feel funny lying, my Weight Watchers leader pointed out that it's exactly what I'd say if I tried it and it was horrid, right?)
I also deflect with things like, "I'm stuffed, but it looks lovely. Where did you get the recipe?" or "You must be famous for those, they smell wonderful." Sometimes people just want the affirmation more than they actually want you to eat it!
Those are great tips! LOL on standing your ground no matter how repetitive.
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YES! I'm working on this. So much better not to try to come up with an excuse:)
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