I grew up in a family where going to church on Sunday was a given. Actually, I went to Sunday School while my parents went to the church service at the same time, but Sunday School had a similar format with opening and closing hymns and prayers before the “classes” broke up for separate readings and discussions. There were no excuses to miss church. Even if we were out of town, we would find a church to attend.
I never minded going to church (or Sunday School), but when I was a teenager I found it boring (like many other adult-mandated things), and I started seeking out Saturday-night sleep-overs so I would miss Sunday morning church. I stayed away from church through college and afterwards. I never lost my faith or rebelled against organized religion, I just didn’t have any desire to go to church.
My husband and I got married in a church his family attended when he was younger, but that didn’t lead to regular attendance. But, it wasn’t too long after that I found a church close to where we lived, and started attending regularly, usually on my own. My husband is also an Episcopalian, but church just isn’t for him. His mom was always the parent in his family that went to church, and I think he internalized the concept that church was for women and children. I think there’s a Simpson’s episode that hits home on that point. I know he used to watch The Three Stooges while I went off to church. 😮
I used to bring my children to church, but it became harder to “make” them when they realized that Daddy was staying home. The church I attended at the time had very few kids their age, and the Sunday School and Youth Group were too small–and run too haphazardly–to hold their interest. Then, their team sports interfered–all of my daughter’s travel soccer games were on Sundays, and if my son doesn’t have a Sunday game he has Sunday practice. So, since the time they were teens, they only have attended church on Christmas and Easter, although now my (college age) daughter manages to miss those services too.
I do think that this is one of my big failings as a parent, but unless I was more strict in the pre-teen years and found a way to fit church in around sports (our church doesn’t have Saturday services, but now there is a Sunday night service), I don’t think I could have done things differently, or attained a different outcome. If church was one more thing that I forced on my teenagers, I don’t think they would have benefited from it.
I alleviated my guilt by sending them to a parochial school, where they do take religion classes and attend a weekly chapel service. I also model my commitment to God and my participation in church. They know that Mom goes to church on Sundays, reads the Bible, prays, and feels blessed by it all. I hope (and pray!) that church–or some relationship with God–is something that they will come to enjoy on their own some day.
Our opening hymn today sums up some of the feelings I have about going to church:
I come with joy to meet my Lord,
forgiven, loved, and free,
In awe and wonder to recall
His life laid down for me.
Church is a joyful experience for me. While the focus of the readings and sermons are different from week to week, they usually are thought-provoking and inspire me to find ways to walk more closely with God in my daily life and share God’s love with others. Going to church isn’t something I do because I have to. It is something I do because I want to, and need to, to keep my life centered where I want it to be.
What are your feelings about going to church?
Would you feel comfortable if a friend invited you to go to church?
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My feelings about church, religion, and God have been all over the place throughout my life. Right this minute? I have no desire to go to church for my own sake, but I find great comfort in my faith in something greater than I am. I have no religion, but I find comfort in various aspects of all religions. If a friend invited me to church/temple/synagogue/mosque I'd go full of excitement and curiosity. All I need to know is that God = love = positive energy. It dwells inside and all around. It is not tied to any one faith, it's tied to all.
Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate your comment.
God is Love, and is not limited to any of the "boxes" we might try to put Him in!
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You don't want to force church on kids. You can still show a life of faith to them by being a great parent which you undoubtedly are. I'm very thankful that the church we attend has a stellar kids and youth program. I hope we can continue there as M and B get older and they desire to go….but nonetheless I hope to never force it on them either. I would always fear it would lead them away in the long run. Like you said – it should always be a joyful thing. 🙂
Great post!
Oh, I have all sorts of thoughts on this one! I don't go to church anymore, other than during our anniversary, and even then, it's only if we're visiting my parents (we share the anniversary and my Mom always has a mass to celebrate)… Growing up, we always went with my Mom, most of the time. I felt like I was dragged, and it bothered me we didn't go to the "cool" church (where most of my friends went, though now that I look back, I'm glad my Mom didn't give in so that I could go only to see who was there, ha!)… so at some point in college I just stopped going all together… until I found a mass (this is all catholic churches) that I really enjoyed… at 8:30 am on Sunday! And I would go on my own, quite happily, actually. It was, like you said, a joyful experience.
Even when I moved to the US I kept going regularly… until my husband started taking the conversion class… and this was about the same time that we got the new pope. And man… seeing how "fanatical" catholics were here (along with the new pope) just took all the joy out of it for me. And me, a fairly faithful person who enjoyed going to church, didn't want to go anymore after going to those classes that supposedly turn you into a catholic. Irony, I know. I still enjoy going in Mexico, but not here. We did have our son baptized in Mexico, and we do plan on taking him to the very basics here, but that's it.
Once I stopped going, I became more interested in learning about other religions. I have no interest in converting to anything else… but I'm certainly not that interested in participating in masses and services as I was before… who knows, maybe one day I'll get it back…
My grandmother took me to church growing up. I listened for years to her prayers…. Prayers for our family to come back to church. Her prayers soothed me, made me feel loved, and special. I received Jesus as my savior when I was about 10 years old, but as soon as I turned a teenager I too found better things to do. But my grandmother continued to pray. Grandma lived to be 88 years old and until the day she died she prayed that her family & loved ones would get saved and receive the gift of eternal life. I'm 48 years old now with 4 daughters of my own. I finally found my way back to church and I trust God is my savior. believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I believe I am saved by the grace of God and I truely love the Lord. I feel a lot of guilt for waiting so long to get back into church. It took me until three of my children had grown and moved out on their own. But they remember great-grandma's prayers too. Thank God they too go to church now. I pray the prayers for my family and friends that my grandmother prayed because I want to see them in heaven with this wicked world is no more……….. I know that I must to do more than just "be a good person" to go to heaven. DON'T BELIEVE that LIE!! You CAN-NOT GO TO HEAVEN BY BEING A GOOD PERSON~ You must BELIEVE and ACCEPT that GOD sent his only begotten son on earth to live among us, be tempted like us, and to suffer and die because of our sins. JESUS PAID the PRICE FOR OUR SINS. Sins you've already committed and even the sins you've yet to do. WOW! That hurts my heart everytime I think about Jesus' suffering because of our sins, and I'm humbled. I try to be a good christain. I ask forgiveness daily. I don't read the bible as much as I should. I pray about that too. I'm still a sinner, but my heart belongs to God and I'm saved. Thank you God for saving me. I know it's not because of anything I've done……………… but everything you've done..
Praise God, Praise God "I'm a mother, a GG (to my grandkids), a sister, a daughter, a aunt, a niece, a friend and a child of God <3 <3