Recent events in the news have people talking about when and why people speak up when they see something wrong and when and why people look the other way. I want to think that I would be the person who speaks up and does the right thing, but I also worry that if I were faced with such a moment of truth I would find some way to rationalize what I saw or justify my own inaction. All this thinking made me remember a time when I did speak up, and a time when I didn’t.
Back in a former life, when I was a stay-at-home mom and licensed home daycare provider, I had training on child abuse issues. I honestly don’t remember many of the details of the course, but I do remember the emphasis on the importance of reporting suspected abuse. Unfortunately, I found myself in a situation where I suspected that a child was being hurt at home. I agonized over what to do, but there were too many questions for me to ignore. I made that very uncomfortable call to child protective services and they conducted an investigation. They determined that the child was alright, but reassured me that I had made the right decision to call them.
Way back in an even earlier life, when I was a teenager working my first “real” job (punching a time clock, cashing a paycheck), one of the managers used his position to put inappropriate pressures on the female employees. I was dating my (now) husband at the time, so I wasn’t a main target, but the atmosphere at work was uncomfortable. After a few weeks, one of my coworkers ended up “dating” him. At the time, that seemed to make his conduct okay, but in retrospect that probably made it worse. (He probably was in his 40s, I don’t think she was 21.) Since this was just a summer job, I quit early to avoid the situation, but my coworker needed the money, so she stayed on.
Looking back, I am proud of myself for speaking up when I did, and hope I draw on that same courage if I ever am faced with a similar situation again.
As for when I didn’t speak up, I don’t think that I realized at the time how wrong that situation was, even though I knew it wasn’t right. I am pretty sure that I would speak up for myself if anyone ever crossed a line like that with me now, but I probably would ignore a random inappropriate comment. On the other hand, if I thought someone else were being harassed, I definitely would speak up.
Have you encountered harassment at work?
Did you do anything about it?
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If you suspected it, and you were trained in that area, I think you did the right thing. It's when someone calls only because of some stereotype/prejudice that makes it wrong.
Have you ever watched that show "What would You Do?", it's on ABC, and they set up scenarios to see what people passing by would do. Every time I watch it I think "I would fail".
Speaking of harassment at work, YES, my stinky coworker blew a fan AT me.
I can think of one instance where I reported something that was a long shot, but it was so important that I did it: an internet acquaintance (someone I'd never met) said that she found child porn on her husband's computer. I knew enough about her to know her full name and where she lived. I found an appropriate way to report it and did so. She later said that she was mistaken…and she was angry with me. She was the type who liked to stir up drama and call attention to herself, so she very well may have made it all up. But I couldn't risk it…and I don't regret it.