One of the many random thoughts that have come to me since my Dad passed away on Thursday, is how grateful I am that there was no “unfinished business” between us. No unresolved anger. No hurt feelings that still smart. No long period of silence that was never breached. We had celebrated my son’s birthday together just last week, and he sent me that heartfelt poem the very morning that he died. So, I can grieve his loss and mourn his passing without guilt or major regrets.
Still, as I go through these raw days, I am finding some loose ends that tug at me:
- the baseball cap I got for him when my son wrestled in a tournament at his alma mater a few weeks ago, that I was saving for Father’s Day.
- the baseball cap we just ordered for him for my son’s spring lacrosse season.
- the stories that I wish I’d heard him tell, or listened to him tell again.
- the many, many more times I wish I’d said, “I love you, Dad.”
![The Ultimate Coffee Date](http://got2run4me.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Ultimate-Coffee-Date.png" "The Ultimate Coffee Date")
I am so sad for you, but so happy that you and your Dad had a great relationship. My Dad and I have a great one too and I can only hope I have him and Mom for a lot longer.
I think you are very fortunate to have no unfinished business, and to have so much love within your family. Let the little things tug, it's because you're human and there's always the little things.
Your posts are making me want to quit being lazy and drive 2 hours to visit my folks 🙂
Keep staying strong, you're doing so well through this.
Do it! I just got to see one of my best high school friends who was down from NYC to visit her parents because it had been a while. I think my husband needs to book a trip to see his parents soon, too.
I can so relate to this post. I was so blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my father and there was no "unfinished business" between us either, when he died. I am glad for him and for me. But it was still too soon for my liking…there was still many things we needed to share.
Unfortunately, there is a lot of unfinished business between my mother and I, and I am not sure how any of it will be resolved.
Karen, sometimes you just have to do what you can to make peace with it yourself and move on. People are complicated and not every relationship can be a good one.
Coco, how wonderful to not have regrets and to have had those planned future moments (the hats). What a wonderful example of living fully in the moment with both the past and future in it's rightful place. Thank you for sharing from your heart as it has touched mine.
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