Resting In Uncertainty

When I was tapped to be a member of a Discernment Committee to help a woman from our church “discern” whether she is being “called” to the priesthood, our training was based on two Books: Listening Hearts: Discerning Call in Community (Farnham, Gill, McLean & Ward) and Grounded in God: Listening Hearts Discernment for Group Deliberations (Farnham, Hull & McLean).  I re-read Grounded in God this weekend to prepare for a meeting with our Senior Warden (who also was on the Discernment Committee), for ideas on how to introduce the concepts and practices of discernment to the vestry.  The book is a fast read–50-ish small pages with relatively large font–but every page has a powerful message.

The book describes discernment as a “prayerful, informed, and intentional attempt . . . to get in touch with God’s Spirit at work in a situation and to develop a sense of the direction in which the Spirit is leading.” Not surprisingly, “[d]iscernment is more a journey than a destination.”

Today, this passage grabbed me:

Resting in uncertainty goes against the grain . . . . To explore an issue may be painful, force a change or delay action, but it also can be a doorway to greater understanding. It is not that solutions are undesirable; rather, an early solution may shut off a deeper exploration of the question and foreclose the opportunity to listen to God and one another.

Often when a passage grabs me it is because it speaks to me about an issue or event in my life. I see a message in its words, or guidance, or comfort. But I don’t know where this one fits.

The most obvious situation is my son’s college recruiting/application process. It is not being resolved as quickly as we hoped. We are living in the limbo of the uncertainty of a delayed decision. We may be forced to explore other options. We may yet walk through doorways that would have been shut off (or unopened) had the decision we were hoping for been made sooner. But I have been at peace with that uncertainty for the past week. I have even stopped thinking about it, although just a week ago I was sick over it. Other events put this worry in perspective, and I am no longer troubled about it. Still, because the situation remains unresovled, this passage could be speaking to my lingering concerns that must be lurking under the surface.

Or, maybe it is speaking to me generally, since I do like to solve problems quickly and move on.

Or, maybe I need to rest in the uncertainty of where this passage fits in my life, and be open to other situations where I may need to be listening more, to God and others.

How do you respond to uncertainty?

Are you good at mulling things over or do like to make a decision and get on with it?