No Perfect Words

I wish I had the perfect words to express
The weight of knowing your numbered days
The sadness I feel when I prepare your dinner, not knowing if you will eat
My heartbreak when I see you struggle to stand and step gingerly in the grass.

Would I have paid more attention if I knew
that Wednesday was going to be your last walk?
When was the last time that you jumped on my bed to join me in a nap?

There has been so much joy, so much laughter.
Companionship with no strings attached.
Sympathy with no judgment.
Expectations that I could meet with a scoop of kibble, a biscuit, a walk, a belly rub.

Now it is time for us to repay the comfort you have given us.
To be merciful and grant you peace.

I wish the decision would be taken from us.
A quiet parting from a deep sleep.
But we love you too much to put our needs before yours
To let you suffer longer
So that, in our ignorance, we might suffer less. 

There are no perfect words
But the action that speaks louder will be our final “I love you.”