On Easter weekend I learned that Rachel Held Evans, a progressive Christian author who took on the patriarchy, intolerance, and close-mindedness of the evangelical Christian church, was hospitalized in grave condition. In the ensuing days I checked her blog for the updates her husband so graciously posted, and on Saturday I learned from various Facebook postings that she had passed away.
From what her husband shared and what has been reported elsewhere, it sounds like a bad reaction to an antibiotic triggered seizures that, while initially “controlled” by a medically-induced coma, ultimately caused brain damage and led to her death.
It is hard to accept that such a vibrant woman, loving and beloved wife, mother of two young children, inspiring author, and brave woman of faith is gone from this world so quickly. As her husband wrote, the whole experience seemed like a surreal nightmare he kept hoping to awake from.
Facing Mortality Faithfully
Her last blog post on Ash Wednesday takes on even more meaning now:
Death is a part of life.
My prayer for you this season is that you make time to celebrate that reality, and to grieve that reality, and that you will know you are not alone.
Those words bring tears to my eyes now, but then I find laughter in her last tweets asking how she could watch Game Of Throne from the hospital. #priorities
When someone we know or admire dies unexpectedly, it’s a difficult reminder that life is short. How can we live into that reality and face mortality faithfully? We are told to savor every moment and live life to the fullest, but what does that mean?
The guest speaker at our partner retreat was Dr. Laurie Santos, who gave us a condensed version of her famous “Yale Happiness Course”–a/k/a “The Science Of Well-Being”– available for free on Coursera. The scientifically-proven secrets to happiness are simple (time with friends and family–or even friendly strangers, sufficient sleep, regular exercise, mindfulness, meditation) but hard to prioritize on a daily basis. Ironically, she suggested we set regular alarms on our phones to remind us to unplug and invest in our own well-being.
The topic of this weekend’s On Being podcast was “What Matters In The End,” with Dr. Atul Gawande (who happens to be married to a high school classmate ….). He spoke on how making the question “What does a good day look like?” central to his practice has transformed how he treats patients. Instead of focusing on how he might cure the disease or prolong life at all costs, he focuses on getting his patients well enough to be able to enjoy–and maximize–their good days. As the author of Being Mortal, he understands that death is inevitable. Instead of trying to postpone death for as long as possible, we should try to maximize life.
Jesus said in John 10:10:
I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
I think facing mortality faithfully goes hand-in-hand with living life abundantly, but I still count on growing old with my family and friends along for the ride.
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This is so relatable to me right now. When I came back from London my husband headed to Vegas for a conference. He called me as he headed to the hospital because one of his colleagues, age 47, suddenly dropped dead right next to him as they were talking. The autopsy results aren’t back yet, but I’m guessing it was a massive heart attack. Life truly is fleeting.
Oh my word. That is horrible. I hope your husband is coping OK.
I read about Rachel last week. I didn’t know too much about her but just reading about everything she accomplished was amazing.
She was such a voice for a welcoming, loving, all-inclusive church.
As you know, our family suffered a tremendous and unexpected loss last year. My parents will never be the same. Life truly is fleeting and we have to treasure each day we have with our loved ones
I thought of you as I was thinking about this. (((hugs)))
so beautifully said — I wasn’t familar with her but followed her battle via social media as some folks RTed her news into my timeline
This is a similar sentiment to the one Dr. Jill Biden shared at her book launch event last night when their son’s death came up. I don’t know if she touches on it in the book as I haven’t gotten to start it yet, but you may be able to find some of it in her book talk interviews if of interest
Oh, thanks, I ‘ll check it out.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. It is such a tragedy. That is really great advice to focus on maximizing life but it always seems so hard when we’re buried in the minutiae of day to day life. This is a good reminder to prioritize the truly important things.
It is hard, right. We still need to get groceries and do laundry ….
It’s definitely not easy to face your mortality with grace. I wish I could way my parents are. Or that any of my elderly relatives did. I hope that I can learn from them, and be less proud & more willing to accept help.
Sometimes it’s hard to hold onto that faith when someone is taken so young. But in the end, death truly is a part of life.
I did not know her at all, but it definitely sounds like a horrible tragedy, and my heart goes out to her family.